Desire in the Sun Read online

  "Aren't you going to introduce us, Lilah?" The insolence of his tone was deliberate. She looked at him over her shoulder, her eyes widening. Kevin's face tightened, reddened. He caught Lilah by the waist and moved her bodily out of his path, then walked up to Joss. Joss saw it coming, saw the other man's hand reach toward his waistband, pull out the pistol and lift it high. There was nothing he could do to avoid what was coming but flinch, and pride forbade that. So he took the blow full in the face, his head snapping back as he felt his left cheek split.

  "Kevin, no!"

  Joss thought she would have rushed to his side if Kevin had not caught her by the arm. But maybe the spreading numbness in his cheek coupled with the awful ache in his side was making him imagine things again.

  "Go back to the carriage, Lilah, before you make an even greater scandal of yourself," Kevin said through his teeth. "The slaves are my concern, not yours, and you know it. Go on. I'll join you after I've done what I can to untangle this mess of yours."

  "You're not to hit him again, Kevin, do you hear me? Look at him! He's been hurt enough." Anger showed in her voice and her eyes. "I want your word on it!" Someone tittered in the crowd that had slowly gathered to gawk at this new entertainment. Lilah's cheeks pink- ened and there was a sudden conscious look on her face as she became aware that she was the cynosure of several dozen eyes.

  Kevin, reddening too as he glanced swiftly around, shot her a furious look. "All right, I won't hit him," he said, his voice hard. "Now get out of here, would you? A soft heart is one thing, but you've carried it too far today! They'll be making jests about you and this- boy-for a month of Sundays! I don't know how you feel about that, but I don't like the notion one bit!"

  "I don't care, I've done nothing wrong! I…"

  "She shore is hot for that dark meat, ain't she?" The man's jocular question was clearly audible over the murmurs of the crowd. Kevin swung around, glaring. Lilah put a cautioning hand on his arm. The man went on, unaware of his danger. "I'd like to give her a taste o' white!"

  "Ah, you ain't white, you ole son of a gun. Yer darker than he is!" Another man elbowed the first in the ribs.

  "That's jes' dirt! I'd wash it off for the likes o' her- or mebbe not. Mebbe she'd like me better dark!"

  "She wouldn't like you any way, you old geezer! You come on away from here, before I snatch you bald- headed!" Before Kevin could explode, a stout woman in the faded clothes of a farmer's wife caught the speaker by the ear and towed him howling out of the crowd. The second man followed, cupping his hand around his mouth to twit the woman to the accompaniment of the crowd's snickers.

  "He is bald-headed, Etta!"

  This three-sided altercation declined only slightly in volume as the participants crossed the street, but Joss didn't hear any more of it. He was too conscious of the shame in Lilah's face, and the fury in Kevin's. He was furious too, hopelessly, helplessly furious at the entire world, including himself and this incredible, Dantesque situation in which he was trapped. The knowledge that his fury availed him of absolutely nothing made him even angrier.

  "Get!" Kevin said to Lilah, his mouth tightening om- inously. Lilah glared at him. Hot red color still stained her cheeks, but she lifted her chin with cool defiance.

  "Don't you dare talk to me that way, Kevin Talbott! I've taken about enough from you this afternoon, and I'm not about to take any more! I'll go back to the carriage when I'm good and ready and not before! I won't be tyrannized over, and you just better remember that!"

  Kevin glared back at her, but Lilah budged not an inch. She was slender and very lovely as she stood there with her face flushed and her arms crossed beneath her breasts, her very attitude daring Kevin to carry the argument further. Kevin apparently knew when he was beaten. He threw up his hands in defeat to more snickers from the crowd.

  "You've got the disposition of a mule, and always have had, Delilah Remy! Have it your own way then!" Kevin turned his back on her and the crowd to look at Joss. The two guards, anticipating violence, took a step closer, their cudgels at the ready, unholy appreciation for the unexpected entertainment they were enjoying evident in their faces. At a gesture from Kevin they stepped back again.

  "Hear this, boy," Kevin said, his voice low but deadly for all that. "My fiancee Miss Remy has agreed to buy you, and even though I have extremely serious misgivings about it, I will abide by her wishes. But whatever you were or thought you were in the past, you are now nothing more than a slave belonging to Miss Remy's father. I am Mr. Remy's overseer, and I am the boss at Heart's Ease and over all that belongs to it. If I ever hear you address so much as a word to Miss Remy again, much less speak to her familiarly as you just did, I will see to it that you are beaten to within an inch of your miserable life. And you'll discover that I'm not known for making idle threats."

  Joss's fists clenched impotently behind him. His injured side was causing him agony, and the split in his cheek burned like fire. His eyes burned even hotter as he glared up at the man standing over him. But he said nothing, did nothing to give the other man an excuse for more violence. He was slowly, painfully, beginning to learn wisdom. He was injured and in pain, unable even to stand. As a slave, he was completely at the mercy of his owners, who could beat him or kill him on nothing more than a whim. For now, he had to play the cards as they were dealt, and not let his own damnable pride and the great blue eyes that were fixed on him so pityingly move him to do something stupid. For now. But every dog had its day…

  "Kevin!" Behind him, Lilah clutched at Kevin's arm to pull him back. Kevin tried to shake her off with little success.

  "Keep out of this, Lilah. I mean it."

  Joss could see Lilah's eyes flare, but she said nothing more. Kevin looked Joss over, contempt and dislike plain in his face.

  "You understand me, boy? On Heart's Ease you'll be a slave like all the other slaves. You'll work where you're told, doing what you're told, for as long as you're told. You'll show respect for your betters and keep your insolent tongue between your teeth if you want to keep your hide whole. Do that, and you'll find that your life with us is not so bad. Give me any problems, and you'll wish you'd never been born."

  Without waiting for any reply Joss might have made, Kevin nodded curtly at the guards. "Put him with the other slaves for Heart's Ease. Someone will be coming by in a day or so to take them to the harbor and load them on the Swift Wind. In the meantime they're to be watered and fed. There are to be no slipups. I don't want to lose any of them on the voyage because they haven't been adequately taken care of beforehand."

  "Yes, sir."

  "Kevin, he's hurt. They kicked him-"

  "I'll have a doctor sent over to look at him, all right? Will that make you happy?"

  "It will relieve my mind."

  She gave him one of those dazzling smiles again. Joss glowered, his bitter anger increasing in direct proportion to the degree of disarming sweetness in her smile. Kevin glanced up from his rapt study of the lovely little face before him to find Joss glaring at the pair of them. He made a gesture to the guards. In response, they grabbed Joss by his arms and hauled him toward the corral. As he was half carried, half dragged away, Joss saw the arrogant bastard turn to Lilah, who had made a sound of protest at the roughness of the treatment accorded him, and, with a conciliatory smile, put his arm around her waist. His insides burned. He told himself it was from his injuries, but he didn't really believe it.

  IX

  A week later, Lilah stood on the gently rocking deck of the Swift Wind, its white sails billowing against a blue sky overhead, the sound of popping rigging in her ears. Her arms were wrapped around herself in a futile attempt to ward off the stiff sea breeze. She was staring out over the rail toward the far horizon in a desperate attempt not to be aware of the slaves jumping up and down some twenty paces farther along the deck. Kevin was pacing amongst them, shouting, "Jump, you devils, jump!" and prodding malingerers in the leg with the cane he carried in one hand. The chains that were wrapped around th
e slaves' waists and wrists and bound them to one another clanked noisily as they obeyed. Bare feet thudded arrhythmically on the boards of the deck.

  The ship skipped through curling white-capped waves, the sun dipped toward the horizon in a beautiful display of crimson and pink and orange, and playful spumes of salt spray splattered the fine blue muslin of her skirt every few minutes. Lilah took in none of this. Her whole consciousness was focused on Joss's tall form leaning against the rail perhaps fifteen feet beyond her. His injured ribs had exempted him from the exercising Kevin required of the other slaves, and the chain that ordinarily would link him to the others was undone. She wasn't even looking at him, and yet she was conscious of every shift of his feet. She hated herself for being so aware of him, for even thinking about him now that she had done her Christian duty by rescuing him from the horrible fete he would almost certainly have faced after the auction block. After all, she now knew exactly who and what he was, so there was no excuse she could offer for her weakness in not eradicating him and what had happened between them from her thoughts. But no matter how she wrestled with herself, she was as sensitized to him as a poison ivy sufferer is to the plant. She could not help being aware of him whenever he was anywhere near her vicinity. She refused to give in to it, though; refused even to glance around at him as her instincts urged her to do-now, while Kevin had his back turned, his attention fully occupied with the rest of the slaves. No one would ever know, except herself. And maybe Joss. She had the feeling that he was as aware of her presence as she was of his.

  Ever the conscientious overseer, Kevin was careful to bring the Heart's Ease slaves up on deck for fresh air and exercise almost daily, depending upon the weather. It was simply good business, he'd responded when, surprised and unnerved to set eyes on Joss surfacing with the other slaves the second day they were on board, Lilah had questioned him. The slaves represented a major investment; he wanted to get them back to Heart's Ease in reasonable health and able to do the work they were bought to do. All but one of the other owners of slaves were content to leave their property to get by as best they might with no fresh air or sunlight for the duration of the voyage, but Kevin was not.

  He was right, Lilah knew, yet Joss's presence in the rough slave garb that Kevin had issued to all those bound for Heart's Ease made her uneasy. Cleaned up now, his hair restored to glossy coal black waves tied by a bit of string at his nape and the unsightly growth of whiskers gone from his face, he was much as she remembered him from that magical night. The only difference in his appearance was his slave-issue clothes-a loosely woven white shirt and poor-quality black breeches-and the absence of that dashing mustache. Slaves did not sport mustaches. The bruises on his face were nearly healed, and she guessed that the rest of his injuries were mending as fast. If it had not been for the chain around his waist-used to link him to the other slaves when they were on deck-and linking his wrists, she would have had trouble remembering that he was a slave like the rest.

  But she had to remember. To allow herself to forget for even a moment would be dangerous to the fragile peace of mind she had achieved since she had accepted Kevin's proposal. And if Kevin were to suspect that she felt the slightest interest in Joss above and beyond the dictates of Christian charity, her forgetfulness would be dangerous for Joss as well. Kevin could be ruthless when it came to protecting his possessions, and as his fiancee she was now considered exactly that. To say nothing of the fact that Kevin and her father and the rest of her acquaintances would be horrified, scandalized and sickened if they guessed that she could not get the gleaming green eyes of a slave out of her mind.

  To guard against the possibility of any unwary look revealing her secret, Lilah usually made it a point not to be on deck when the slaves were brought up. But on this particular afternoon she had left the stuffy confines of the cabin she shared with Betsy hoping to regain her usual good spirits with a few swift turns around the deck and the breathing of some brisk sea air, and had lost all track of the time. Then, when Kevin had shepherded the slaves up not twenty feet from where she stood, she had not wanted to rush away for fear of drawing his attention to her discomfort in their-Joss's-presence. She had lived with and around slavery all her life. She took the daily presence of slaves around her as much for granted as she did air to breathe. Never before had she felt the least uneasy around any of them, even the rawest of the gullahs. But it was difficult to consider Joss a slave like those others.

  Oh, how she longed to be at home again! It seemed like forever since she had set foot on Barbados's sun- soaked earth. Strangely, now that she was closer to home than she had been for nearly five months, she was homesick. In another three weeks or so, if the weather held, the Swift Wind would drop anchor in Bridgetown Bay. And she could put these last dreadful weeks from her mind for good…

  "I brought you a shawl, Miss Lilah. You look cold, wrapping yourself up in your arms that way." Betsy came to stand beside her, holding out the lovely Norwich silk shawl that had been a parting gift from Lilah's great-aunt. Grateful for this new distraction, Lilah turned around to smile at her maid. Then she looked down at the shawl Betsy held out to her and shook her head.

  "Thank you, Betsy, but I don't want it. In fact, you may have it, if you like."

  "This pretty thing? Why, you don't want to give it away! It's new!"

  "I guess I can give you a gift if I want to, Betsy. Put it on, you hear?"

  Betsy looked at her for a moment, her eyes seeing more than Lilah was comfortable revealing. Then she looked down at the shawl in her hand, and fingered the heavy white silk. "If you say so, Miss Lilah." Betsy wrapped the elegant shawl over the serviceable tan cotton dress she wore and looked down at the six-inch-long fringe as the wind fluttered it against her skirt. "Like my mam would say, gold teeth don' suit hog mouth."

  That was a saying common in Barbados meaning that elegant things looked out of place on those who weren't used to them. Lilah shook her head at her maid. "Maida would not say that, and you know it. The shawl looks lovely on you. Ben better look out when you get back. You'll get him this time for sure." Lilah added that last with a teasing half smile.

  "What makes you think I want him?" Betsy retorted, tossing her head and grinning. Lilah grinned back at her maid.

  "You’ve been after Ben since you were fifteen years old. You can't fool me."

  Betsy suddenly looked grave. "Well, you sure ain't been after Mr. Kevin, Miss Lilah! You can't fool me, either."

  Lilah turned back to her contemplation of the sea.

  "I don't want to hear any more talk like that," she said sternly.

  "Pooh!" Betsy's pretty lips turned up in what was very close to a sneer. "You don't want to hear the truth, is all. You was always like that, even as a little girl. But us who loves you, will tell you: Mr. Kevin's not for you."

  "I'm going to marry him," Lilah said determinedly, the lift of her chin signalling that the conversation was closed. Betsy ignored the hint, as Lilah should have known she would. After a lifetime's association, mistress and maid were mere titles. Betsy was family, and family could be as irritating as a burr under a saddle.

  "You'll do what you want, just like you always do, but if I were you I'd wait. The right man will come along for you one day. He always do."

  "Kevin is the right man for me."

  "Mr. Kevin's the right man for your pa and Heart's Ease. He's not the right man for you. And you know it, Miss Lilah, deep down. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

  "That's enough, Betsy. I don't want to talk about it anymore!" Lilah glared at her maid. Betsy went on inexorably.

  ' 'You don't even like him to kiss you! What you going to do when he gets into bed with you when you're married?"

  Lilah's cheeks flushed. "You were spying!" she accused heatedly, knowing that Betsy referred to the scene that had taken place between herself and Kevin the night before.

  He had walked her to her cabin after a late turn about the deck. When she opened the door to go in, he had sur
prised her by stepping inside with her, pushing the door almost closed behind them. Betsy had been asleep-she'd thought!-in the upper berth, but still the cabin was dark and it was late and they were much too private to be completely respectable. She'd looked up at Kevin inquiringly; it wasn't like him to be unconventional. Without a word he'd pulled her hard against his body and covered her mouth with his. The impression she'd formed of his kiss was that he was trying to eat her lips with his mouth. The greedy wetness of his tongue slobbering over her clamped mouth made her feel sick to her stomach. This kiss was nothing like the soft fire of… no, she must not remember that. Angry, she'd pushed Kevin away. He apologized immediately, and kissed her hand in gentle remorse before taking himself off, but the whole incident had left her uncomfortable. Was that the kind of thing she could expect from him when they were married? And then it would not be so easy just to push him away…

  "I was awake," Betsy corrected, very much on her dignity. "I saw him try to kiss you, and I saw you act like you was going to throw up. That's no way to feel about the man you're meaning to marry, Miss Lilah."

  "What do you know about it?" Lilah retorted heatedly, angry because Betsy's words came too close to her own misgivings.

  Betsy looked smug. "I know plenty. I kept company with John Henry for a year, and then there was Norman and-well, never you mind. What I'm tellin' you is that

  I never felt like that when any of them kissed me. And if Ben ever kissed me… Miss Lilah, he'd have to pry me off him with a boat hook! That's how you should feel about the man you're going to marry."

  "Ladies don't feel that way about things like that," Lilah said, though with another slight twinge of unease as she once again remembered the excitement of other lips on hers… Resolutely she pushed the forbidden memory away. That single night of madness was not going to be permitted to color her whole life. It had been a night apart from reality, no more substantial than a dream. And she'd better keep that firmly in mind!